Gender Inequality - A TED Talk

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Hello, my name is Ivanna Starr. I work for a large scientific organization studying men and women. Their habits. Capabilities. Specifically, we have one area of expertise. We wanted to understand where inequality lies. And how it can be corrected.

When asked to do one of these TED Talks, I wondered how to go about the topic. You see, we’ve figured out this little inequality. A-ha, I know. You’re impressed. And skeptical.
What do men have over women? There’s an established power imbalance. Men are paid more. They dominate in their tone, their cockiness, and their aggression. Testosterone is a foul thing, but it plays a huge role here. There are big parts to gender inequality that we could discuss today.

However, I’m here to talk about something… Life-changing! You see, I decided to get more involved and be part of a scientific experiment. We wanted to see if one small change could completely slash that inequality. And it worked!

Shortly after this experiment, I received this invitation. I received a raise. I’m now completely flooded with emails, texts, call… People WANT me, in so many different ways. Ways that even regular men would be jealous about.

You see, this experiment involved me swapping out one special thing with another. I now have a penis. Yes! I hear you! It’s… crazy! Unethical, perhaps. Borderline transphobic, homophobic, nasty in some way to a minority. This is never the intention in science.

In this way, we just wanted to see what changes could occur. In having a bulge in my pants, I received more respect. There is absolutely no reason for any woman to opt out of such an experiment. Women can do so many things that men can’t! Men abuse their penis. They masturbate furiously. Seek out attention constantly with their penis in mind. They want to impregnate.

They pollute the world with their testosterone-induced thoughts. They are only here to cause further chaos. Men should be worried. Everywhere.

Women. We can take over the world with this one little change! We have that determination that isn’t clouded by constant sexual desires. But, even better, we can use our penis to establish dominance over men everywhere. They have been on top for far too long! It’s our time to shine! The future is now, ladies!

Grab yourself a big, juicy dick and get to thrusting it down the throats of a society… Who doesn’t even deem you good enough for a fair wage. Doesn’t think you’re good enough to run a company. To run an office or even a small work force. They overlook you time and time again. For what?

A poor, pathetic man.

And this is why I came today. To tell all women the best way to get our message out! And to warn all men… We’re ready. We have the technology. We’re not afraid to use it.


Thank you.



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