Third Wheel Cupid

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Hey, listen… You lost. I asked her out before you. You were just a little bit too slow on that end.

Not too shocking, is it? I mean, you’ve never been great at making the first move. But listen, you’re here for more than just me rubbing it in. I talked to her and… We think you should be part of this. I know, two hot ladies asking you to be part of their relationship. Even better, you’re being asked to come around on a special day.

Valentine’s Day!

Lucky you, huh?

[SMILE]

Just because I asked her out first doesn’t mean I’m cruel. You’re still human. A man. You have needs. We want you to join us for our special dinner. Our romantic Valentine’s Day dinner. I’ve got it all planned out. Right here, flower petals. Candlelight. You’ll be setting all this up, by the way. Take some notes.

I want flower petals from the front door to the table. Then from the table, to the bed.

[MOAN]

And you’ll make us a delicious meal. Something amazing. Food fit for a king and queen, of course. She’s going to drool over the meal. I’ll take credit, of course. I mean, I did win her heart first, after all.

Oh! And the candles! Yes, make sure there are tons of candles! I want her to feel like she’s really in some romantic film. Like, I’m Mark Ruffalo. She’s Jennifer Garner. It’s all perfect, she’s won over. I’ve really got the details down perfectly, hmm?

[SMILE]

Oh, and you? No, you won’t be at the dinner table with us. You won’t be in the bedroom. No! Pervert. We’ve decided the perfect place for you to be.

Picture this…

You, suspended from the ceiling.

Dressed like Cupid!

You’ll be naked.

Wings on your back.

Carrying this cute little pink bow with arrows.

The perfect Valentine’s decoration!

We’ll be falling in love here at the table… And in the bedroom, making steamy hot love.

You’ll be our Cupid.

Keeping an eye on us as we fall deeper and deeper… In love. This is the real dream. You’ll be part of the magic! So, let’s get you fitted for some wings.

[SMILE]